Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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