I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Michael Bay diarrhea
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
