that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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