Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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