I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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