I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
