READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this just has baby written all over it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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