So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
