forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
