I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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