we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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