He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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