dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
