I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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