just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
