Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
