he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
