wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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