This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
