Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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