Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
