Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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