My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
