2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
