At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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