Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
