i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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