carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
