i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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