Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
