You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
