is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
