I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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