When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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