I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
