Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
