I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
