My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
