Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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