We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
