After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
