why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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