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Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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