So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
