im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize