Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
