I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
