btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
