yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
