New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
