No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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