We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
